Long ago there was a Winter Wonderland with a lot of snow. Nobody has been there in a long time. I just heard that somebody went there last week. The person who went there last week said that there was a lot of snow. The person who went there today said that there was a blizzard and their friends had a snowball fight! Then, the next day there was no snow….. It was very quiet….. Then….. All of a sudden there was a…a…a SNOWSTORM!!! The person who is there, and their friends played and had the biggest snowball fight ever!!!
It was the 23rd of Christmas and I was rushing past stores looking for the perfect gift. The sky was turning into shades of gray but I still had one more gift to get. It was briskly becoming colder and I felt raindrops. Sounds grew louder as the rain pelted down and people rushed to their cars. But I couldn’t leave, I still had one more gift to get. The rain became icy and all became louder. I saw a snowflake fall and all was silent. It hadn’t snowed for as long as I could remember. What would happen now?
In the story, I like that you you used the word pelted instead of the word fall.
I love winter and how you described and captured the snowstorm!I see a big snowball fight in the future!
The article ¨Snow¨, was written very well using descriptive words that the reader could relate to. It took me back to a personal experience that I had similar to the one in the selection. I felt the panic that the writer was feeling as she had to find that one last gift. Rachel´s choice of words helped accelerate her article and as a teacher, I truly enjoyed reading her work.
In the article, Snow, I got the feeling that the writer really enjoyed the snow. I also loved all the words the writer used to describe how it looked outside and felt. Because of her great writing, I was able to get a real feel for the weather and the environment she was in! Great job!
I love how you created suspense. I also like how you contrasted the energy of looking for a gift with the single, gentle snowflake.
I like this story because I had a very similar experience one Christmas season. I was getting one last gift on 12/23 (maybe 1998) and on the way it started to rain and then it became sleet and eventually snow. Once I bought the gift and made it home safely, it was nice to enjoy the quiet of the evening snow fall.
This story takes me back to my childhood and young adult years in the Pacific Northwest during the holidays. Dark, cold and gloomy. All the people in my way as I try to find those last minute gifts for family and friends. All the hustle and bustle and patience running thin, but in the end, knowing the gift of giving would bring joy to those close to me.
Great job, Rachel. I assimilated the darkening gray sky with the weight of finding the perfect gift at the last minute of holiday shopping.